2008 Woodie Awards
A challenge isn't always an attack
Alli Small
Issue date: 11/18/08 Section: Opinion
The problem with opinions is that everyone has one - which would not actually be such a problem if we were not so afraid of being wrong.
It is a fear that our opinions will be insignificant, rejected, devalued and shoved in the nearest dumpster that often keeps us from voicing them. It is fear that drives us to attack rather than challenge, generalize rather than listen, and assume rather than comprehend. It is born of a relationship between folklore and experience, the stories we have heard and the rejections we have faced.
Because of this fear, though, we have allowed ourselves to become cheated and deprived of the opinions that result from honest discussion and have become accustomed to accepting opinions without any controversy. We are afraid that if we dare to disagree, someone might expect us to support one of our flippant comments or offhand remarks.
Fear says, "Do not speak. Do not voice an opinion for you will be ridiculed, cut down and destroyed."
By all means, speak. But speak with courtesy. Do not voice opinions for shock value, merely for the jaw dropping look or awkward silence that it can create. Rather voice the well thought out, articulated opinion that will create conversation, discussion and disagreement.
Fear says, "Do not disagree, and do not let others disagree with you."
How often do we find ourselves with the same humdrum group of people agreeing over the same issue we agreed about yesterday, or rehashing arguments of the past?
What is it about fear that tells us that disagreement is a synonym for hatred or discrimination? Where did we come up with the notion that someone who disagrees with us somehow deserves less respect?
Fear tells us that challenging and attacking are the same thing. We allow others and sometimes ourselves to get away with verbally attacking another person by slapping a label on it that says we are "challenging an opposing opinion" or "playing devil's advocate."
It is a fear that our opinions will be insignificant, rejected, devalued and shoved in the nearest dumpster that often keeps us from voicing them. It is fear that drives us to attack rather than challenge, generalize rather than listen, and assume rather than comprehend. It is born of a relationship between folklore and experience, the stories we have heard and the rejections we have faced.
Because of this fear, though, we have allowed ourselves to become cheated and deprived of the opinions that result from honest discussion and have become accustomed to accepting opinions without any controversy. We are afraid that if we dare to disagree, someone might expect us to support one of our flippant comments or offhand remarks.
Fear says, "Do not speak. Do not voice an opinion for you will be ridiculed, cut down and destroyed."
By all means, speak. But speak with courtesy. Do not voice opinions for shock value, merely for the jaw dropping look or awkward silence that it can create. Rather voice the well thought out, articulated opinion that will create conversation, discussion and disagreement.
Fear says, "Do not disagree, and do not let others disagree with you."
How often do we find ourselves with the same humdrum group of people agreeing over the same issue we agreed about yesterday, or rehashing arguments of the past?
What is it about fear that tells us that disagreement is a synonym for hatred or discrimination? Where did we come up with the notion that someone who disagrees with us somehow deserves less respect?
Fear tells us that challenging and attacking are the same thing. We allow others and sometimes ourselves to get away with verbally attacking another person by slapping a label on it that says we are "challenging an opposing opinion" or "playing devil's advocate."
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
eric_cordell
Eric Cordell
posted 11/22/08 @ 10:40 PM CST
I thoroughly agree with this, I often hear opinions of value fall on deaf ears because of how it was presented. Respect is the key component to an opinion, because if you don't respect the opposition they will not respect you. (Continued…)
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