2008 Woodie Awards
Inner Peace Through His Word
Nicole Lemons
Issue date: 5/6/08 Section: Opinion
As graduation rapidly approaches, I feel as though I am not ready for what is about to come. I feel as though I did not fully prepare myself as a woman of God, but instead as a lost soul that kept searching for fulfillment. I have lived my life loving someone for the past five and a half years, but have not returned that love to myself and to God. I am entering a stage in my life when I must depend on myself and trust that a higher power is going to guide me through the trials and tribulations that lie before me. I had a wake up call a couple of weeks ago that turned my world upside down, in what I initially thought of as a negative direction, but as I search for understanding I begin to see a different perspective.
I had my whole life planned out in front of me and I was ready to begin with full force. This awakening made me realize that I had already begun my life, what was I waiting for? My life began at birth, not when I graduated from college. I had focused too much on what I wanted to do, later, instead of what I am supposed to do now. A life worth living is not guided by that principle.
My hypocritical life was filled with a confused version of God's message that I let get in the way of truly understanding the message that He wanted me to hear. I was judgmental in the way a select few Christians practiced their faith and let it affect other Christians who were inclusive in their walk with faith. For as much as I preached acceptance I was not accepting others by their choice of worship. Even though I desired to surround myself with positive people, I was critical of whom the positive people were. In order for me to embrace God's message for my life, I have to open my heart to receive Him and His word and trust that even if I do not agree with his decisions at the present time, He will show me His reasoning when I am ready to accept it.
I have experienced inner turmoil lately with myself and with God, who before was an afterthought in my life. I had placed all of my hopes and dreams in another person's hands, instead of in God's. I need to trust the He will guide me and grant me patience to find inner happiness and love for myself before I am able to accept true love from the soul mate God graced me with early in life. There was a reason He placed him in my life. Even though I may want and crave for a certain ending, it is no longer up to me. I can not force a love that is true.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:6-9).
I trust that God will embrace me when I need comfort, that God will wipe away my tears when I weep, that God will guide me through life when I need direction and that God will provide me with answers when I am ready to understand them. The ultimate test of truth is to have faith in His strength, let my heart go and if it was truly meant to be it will return when the time is right. In the meantime, I will focus on my intimate relationship with God, give Him the power to heal my broken heart and mend it to how He sees fit.
I had my whole life planned out in front of me and I was ready to begin with full force. This awakening made me realize that I had already begun my life, what was I waiting for? My life began at birth, not when I graduated from college. I had focused too much on what I wanted to do, later, instead of what I am supposed to do now. A life worth living is not guided by that principle.
My hypocritical life was filled with a confused version of God's message that I let get in the way of truly understanding the message that He wanted me to hear. I was judgmental in the way a select few Christians practiced their faith and let it affect other Christians who were inclusive in their walk with faith. For as much as I preached acceptance I was not accepting others by their choice of worship. Even though I desired to surround myself with positive people, I was critical of whom the positive people were. In order for me to embrace God's message for my life, I have to open my heart to receive Him and His word and trust that even if I do not agree with his decisions at the present time, He will show me His reasoning when I am ready to accept it.
I have experienced inner turmoil lately with myself and with God, who before was an afterthought in my life. I had placed all of my hopes and dreams in another person's hands, instead of in God's. I need to trust the He will guide me and grant me patience to find inner happiness and love for myself before I am able to accept true love from the soul mate God graced me with early in life. There was a reason He placed him in my life. Even though I may want and crave for a certain ending, it is no longer up to me. I can not force a love that is true.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:6-9).
I trust that God will embrace me when I need comfort, that God will wipe away my tears when I weep, that God will guide me through life when I need direction and that God will provide me with answers when I am ready to understand them. The ultimate test of truth is to have faith in His strength, let my heart go and if it was truly meant to be it will return when the time is right. In the meantime, I will focus on my intimate relationship with God, give Him the power to heal my broken heart and mend it to how He sees fit.
Be the first to comment on this story